What I still don’t know about God

by Maria Söderberg

If you are unfamiliar with the Interns’ timetables (as some of us still are and need to check them
every morning to know when we are supposed to be where) you might not be aware that, apart from
serving the church in almost every area of ministry, we spend a great deal of time receiving teaching
and leadership training. Part of our teaching is on discipleship and leadership and we get to reflect on
what it means to follow Jesus, what our strengths and weaknesses are, test our personality type, and
ponder what area we could grow in to help lead other people closer to Christ. Another part is on
theology and includes topics as Old & New Testament Studies and Pastoral Studies. The teaching is
sometimes quite challenging and constantly stretches our understanding of who God is (for example
that 1½ hour slot of “Trinity & Christology” – a rollercoaster of mindboggling words).

For me personally I always think that is the hardest bit – to stretch my understanding of God. Even
though I know that God is holy and so far beyond my wildest imagination that of course he can’t fit in
the tiny box of my understanding of Him. But when someone comes along and challenges those
restrictions I have put on God, I desperately cling on to what I know and fear what letting go might
mean. So far, I’ve been really challenged to question where I have received my image of God from –
what part does the Bible play in what I know of God? Being in such a Bible loving community as Kings
is, I’m slowly but surely falling more in love with the Bible myself and rooting my truths there. But big
questions have opened up in my life about who God really is, and so far, the answers have not yet
fallen into place – a quite scary place to be, but also a place where I learn to put my faith in God.

What I am most grateful about in these teaching sessions is that we are not left to ponder these
questions alone. Everything is done within the context of the church – we get to pray with our
teachers and see them in church on Sundays, worshipping and seeking God with an honest heart.
This sets the focus of the teaching not on knowing everything so that we may boast on how much
knowledge we have, but instead on knowing God more, in order to live our lives closer to Him who
deserves our every praise. The year has just begun and I’m excited to see what we might learn as the
year stretches on!